A B’nai Mitzvah to Remember: Experiencing Community at Temple Sinai Vermont
Reflections from a Jewish Mother and Executive Director — by Stacie Gabert
Clark & Dean Gabert - (all photos courtesy of Karen Pike Photography)
The Journey Begins: Preparing for the B’nai Mitzvah
I have watched many families celebrate their children's b'nai mitzvah. Still, I wasn't prepared for what happened when it was my turn: an entire synagogue community that had supported me professionally for years wrapped around my family personally for our big day.
The twin boys, now men (ha ha), started learning their Torah Portion, Haftarah, and started working on their D'var Torah six months before the big day. They were dreading it. They didn't want to do it. Why did they have to do it, they asked? My Jewish mom's answer was always, "I had to do it, and your grandmother is living for this day." All true answers, but those aren't the only reasons.
Why We Do This: The Meaning Behind the Mitzvah
I think it's important for them to go through this process as a Jew and to see that hard things can be done and can be meaningful. Little did I know how right I'd be about both the difficulty and the meaning.
The boys studied, chanted, and wrote, and I barely had to remind them. They wanted to do a good job and show what they were capable of. No one wants to disappoint their mom or their community. Keep in mind, their dad isn't Jewish, so they had all the tutoring, meetings, and rehearsals on my weeks, and at times it felt overwhelming to all of us. But we were in this together.
The Unexpected Blessings: Family Bonding and Community Support
One of the boys would call me from his dad's house at 10 pm and say, "Time for our nightly Torah reading!" Or they weren’t sure how a tune went and wanted me to help, or even just listen to their chanting. The experience happened over their lifetime, but really over the last six months, it bonded us in a way that is indescribable.
A True Community Effort: Temple Sinai in Action
Friends in the Temple Sinai community hosted a gorgeous oneg for the Friday night service, so I didn't have to worry about it. They asked the boys what they wanted to have at the oneg and included them. I went non-traditional for the kiddush lunch, and my friends helped me get it ready and put the food out when it arrived.
The Heart of Synagogue Life: Embracing Community at Its Best
The whole weekend was a community effort, and my kids understood what that meant. They could feel it. I wish every family could experience this kind of communal embrace—it's what synagogue life is meant to be at its very best.
Thank you to all who made this day special,
Stacie
